Tuesday, November 22, 2005

Our Website Decor

Er..hello...we thought we would write to mention that AT LONG LAST we are finally starting to post much needed upgrades to our website. Since we prefer to move in fits and starts, we are posting each section as it is completed, rather than in one big, smooth swoop.

We find this helps us to evade our detractors and distract our enemies.

And it also makes the site seem like a confusing lot of junk to those loyalists who occasionally visit the site to show their support for our eEvil ways.

So, uh, sorry about that. The good news is you will soon be able to buy all kinds of crap that hitherto you have only dreamt of in your wildest imaginations. Depending on just how wild your imaginations are. Maybe you haven't been dreaming of cards. Maybe you're thinking about that weird dream with the monkey and Lisa Kudrow....BUT STOP THAT RIGHT NOW! We say CARDS, CARDS, CARDS!

On sale now at http://www.eevil.org/unholiday.html

Friday, November 18, 2005


Hmm, well let's see...If it weren't for the hobo, um, did they invent stew? I know they invented the handkerchief tied to a stick thing. Did they invent clowns? The early clown does invoke "hobo" does it not? I'm going to be the first to say, they invented clowns. I must admit, contempt is building inside me for the hobo as I write...

A surly breed, The Hobo. They gave us stew, red with white poke-a-dotted handkerchiefs on a stick and clowns. Yeah, I think that's about it. But, it goes without saying that they were a catalist for better locks and better fences...which they inscribed little symbols on- to help other passing hobos detect suckers, judges, "widers" (widows), church folk and so forth. Yeah, personally I'm a little mixed when it comes to hobos. I wouldn't want to meet the new generation '00's Bush era hobo. I think they have names like "Claws" & "Fist Cramin' Vern" & "Stranglin' Lonnie".

Please feel free to leave your favorite hobo name in the comment section, real or made-up or both.

P.S. The last blog entry, Tina Schlieske's CD release party, I threatened my Minneapolis friends that I would publically skewer them on this blog if they didn't go to the show.



Bill K. made-out with known hobo: "Lou Brown Boogers"
Chris H. went to 3rd base with known hobo: "Count Crapula"
Andy A. shared passions with known hobo: "Poop Stains Willie"
Scott N. turned a trick by moonlight with known hobo: "Stink Eye Roy"
John B. rolled around with known hobo: "Goober Face Ed"
Eric H. did it with known hobo: "Hog Mouth Gil"
Page W. canoodled intamately with known hobo: "Fish Crotch Mary" (lucky)



-eEvilyn Didley Scott

Friday, November 11, 2005



eEvil Ink is proud to sponsor the release of:

"Slow Burn" by Tina Schlieske

Picture you going to:


DIRECTIONS: It's located...hmmm, I think on 2nd Avenue, no wait! First- it is First Avenue downtown, Minneapolis, (Minnesota) Maybe you can Mapquest it, you lazy no-good-for-nothin..

Put the word to the streets, all of them...

Also, check out this recent MPLS StarrTribune article:

One last thing, feel free to purchase the "Tina Tees" because they were made by us, eEvil Ink Design.

Now start saving your money, drink it tomorrow.
(me: I do both)


P.S. To my friends that received the threatening email earlier, I'm not kidding!!

Hey-HEY...! Have fun everyone!

Peace, Love, Joy [and a good stiff drink]

-eEvilyn Didley Scott

Wednesday, November 09, 2005

How Many Trains Will It Take??

Don't look so shocked. This is you for the next four months or so...

Sometimes we all have to make plans to go home for the holidays. We are all bound to our holday train tracks, are we not? Perhaps you need to refresh yourself with the train schedules...

* Triptofan Express - Nov. 24th
(we urge you to watch your own caboose on this day, it may mysteriously double in size)

* Magical Gift-Giving-Fatman Express - Dec. 24 & Dec. 25th
Caution: there is so much of this express, they couldn't make all the stops in 1 day. The true story for this train goes something like this: Daddy asked Mommy if he could have you over for a christmas dinner at his new house -- with his new girlfriend, Brenda, who was once his secretary. They worked it out for you. This is just the beginning of your guilty feelings for this holiday. Perhaps you should buy yourself a flask for this trip?

* Chanukuh Express - Dec 25th, this year.
This train is super long and suprisingly runs on one drop of oil, very efficient. Eight days, non-stop- this one! There is a lot of gambling going in the dreidel car. Be sure to bring plenty of chocolate coins, no one wants the other stuff. Try for "GIMEL". But, besides all the fun gambling there comes a lot of guilt. You will find that all these trains run on guilt. Again, a good flask runs about $25 to $35. (I say you splurge for the $40 dollar one)

These are only a few trains that I'm aware of...
There is another. The Festivous Express. I am on board for this one, it's a straight shooter. Invented by Frank Costanza of Queens; it starts Dec 23rd and basically involves telling everyone around the table how they've wronged you through the year and is concluded with a battle by the gleaming metal pole called "Feats of Strength".

Sounds firmiliar...

What train are you looking for??

Tuesday, November 01, 2005


That's right. How can you be mad at getting your pumpkin smashed??

Like you've never done it before... Oh, um... okay, if you have never-ever had the awsome delight of smashing pumpkins before, it's not too late! I bet your neighbor folk are somewhat hoping that someone would smash their pumpkins. Worrying half the night away in a fright, "What's wrong with us? Why did they smash everybody else's pumpkins but ours? What's wrong with us?" They'll question out loud, "Why, why, WHY??"

Would you like to see them in a sad march to the trash can, Jack-o-Lantern in hands, they let go and...thud, no smash? Do you know how that feels? It's like my dog with no nose, how does he smell? Awful.

I myself, eEvilyn Didley Scott, once had a pumpkin on my stoop for 103 executive days. It turned into goo- then was ingested by a tongue lashing like no other. The neighbors cat, Mr. Pickles, could do such things. Anyway, this had to of been back in 1909, I believe. Mr. Pickles sits upon my mantle now. He died because no one smashed my pumpkin...Is this why I am devoted to a life of eEvil?? You'll never know... and Pickles ain't sayin boo...

Anyhow, Back to the pumpkin smashing... Do it! It must be done- and it's quite a thrill. You can even take that special someone out on a date, do some smashing, then...who knows what...? Troll napping? Oh the possibilities are endless...

Another good thing: it makes your street look like a hodge-podge of good old American anarchy. What are you? a commy or something?



eEvilyn D. S.